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THE DRAGON AND THE KNAVE

A dragon flew out of his cave,
and killed a corpulent knave.
He ate the fat man in four bites,
then said, "Oh, that didn't taste right."
That dragon sat by his cave wall,
wishing he had Pepto Bismal.

THE GRAVE ROBBER

I met a man who dug up coffins.
He looked at bodies that were rotten.
He turned to me with an evil laugh.
He said he liked taking photographs.
I told him he was a twisted man,
then I kicked him in the jewels and ran.

THE ROTTEN VAMPIRE

I grabbed a vampire by the throat.
He sucked the blood out of my goat.
I took one whiff of the vampire's breath,
then I retched all over his chest.
That vampire's breath really did reek.
I don't think he ever brushed his teeth.
I drove a stake through the vampire's heart,
and before he died he let out a fart.

A ROYAL HOWLING

A werewolf was brought before the Queen.
That old lady of royalty was mean.
The werewolf thought it might give her a fright
if he let out the loudest howl of his life.
But the Queen didn't flinch nor scream.
She karate-chopped him in the spleen,
and drowned him in a barrel of cream. Read more here: [link]